Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My vagina is very pro this idea
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