What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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