So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
