none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
