girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize