Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
