nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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