I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
