her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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