he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
