i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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