thus making me awesome and them whores
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize