He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need to calm my uterus...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
