So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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