All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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