That's intense
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
