For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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