I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
