By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
