Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
