i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
