Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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