Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
