very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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