I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I need water and some morals
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
