So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
