He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
