shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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