i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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