I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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