I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
