New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
