Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
