Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
