So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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