Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
