oh god the rape fog is back!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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