I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
