Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My pussy is not your playground.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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