he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize