look no pants
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
