Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You can't just leave with hair like that
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
