just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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