Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
