I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize