You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
