You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We need to get me chipped asap
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
