sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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