It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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