I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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