Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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