how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
