I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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