if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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