So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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