Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
