I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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