dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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